I must now reveal the list of bad dates:
Date 1: He took me to Home Depot and named all the kitchen faucets to me, because he worked there. We also went to a movie, but I think we can all agree the damage had been done.
Date 2: Midway through dinner we discovered he was 28 and I was 19. Which I actually didn't think was that big of a deal but he seemed really freaked out, like all of a sudden he was babysitting me rather than dating me.
Date 3: He took me to an ASU game and I asked him why there were sparkles all over the inside of his car, he said it was because he recently made out with a girl in his car and she wore sparkly lotion. I said, “….oh…I don’t like sparkles in my lotion.” He said, “She was hot.” I said, “…cool.” And that was the best conversation we had the entire night.
Date 4: This is Kristy's, and it is a gem. He set up a "Fiesta" in his garage with his brother, complete with Mexican food and festive decor. Then they salsa danced...in the garage. Then they watched Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Theme date, how cute (not cute). During the movie he put his hand on her thigh and asked, "Is this okay?" she answered, "I have to go to the bathroom."
Date 5: He told me he had just taken a couple Valium, so would it be okay if I drove?
Date 6: This wasn't so much a date as a series of hang outs. He used to come to my house a lot and we would play Super Nintendo and make-out, I was fine with this situation because those are two of my favorite activities. But eventually it just got awkward, like enough already with the video games. He must have sensed my boredom because he did finally take me out....to Applebees. Where we discovered we didn't have much in common past our mutual love for Super Mario Brothers. (Also he had soft hands, and I couldn't get past it).
Date 7: Kristy's again: Christmas formal dance, he took his tie off and wrapped it around her waist as they "danced".
Date 8: Group date. The boys brought a couch and a TV and we went to the top floor of a parking garage and watched a movie. (?) On the way home he told me how he had kissed 23 girls. When I apparently didn’t express enough awe and amazement at this revelation, he told me that that was more than ANY of his friends.
And there were also some good dates, and Single's Wards can be fun; but if you're currently in one I encourage you to share the bad dating experiences. Because isn't that the point really? To entertain the rest of us? (Yes.)
Julie I think you already topped all of mine in your last comment.
23 comments:
I like how they try to impress you with with how many girls they kissed or made out with.
Pathetic and so stupid.
Thank you for marrying Zach.
Wait, Caca, besides the Kristy dates, were the rest yours?? Ok, who was the Super Mario Bros guy? My vote for worst was the dude with the sparkly car.
You are right; the only point of singles wards is to come away with ridiculous dating stories.
My worst date (well, maybe not worst, but one of the many terrible ones): Picked me up in his big blue van called the Smurf; I thought he was going to kidnap and murder me because it had no windows. It was his pride and joy. So, we went to dinner, they brought out our food, I started to take a bite and as I raised the fork to my mouth, he said "I'll say it" and bowed his head and prayed.
Oh...wow...I am so glad I am off the market now! At least bad date stories are used for good entertainment. Thanks for sharing.
So you dont know me but I came across your blog through a friend. I also have a list of bad dates but the wort of all is the one when my date told me he had been visited by the three nephites. Oh bless his heart.
Okay, I love reading your blog because it is seriously entertaining. I went to Mesa high too but you probably have no clue who I am but I still have to comment on how funny those dates are. I also vote for the "sparkles" guy, what an idiot. I've had my share of horrible first dates but the worst was on a blind date with a guy who kept asking why I didn't have a boyfriend and if he could just take care of me it would be different. He then proceeded to ask me if I was a virgin? WTF on a first date! We then went goofy golfing and he kept trying to show me how to golf by putting his arms around mine, like he was a pro goofy golfer. barf I also had a blind date take me to the speedway racetrack which happened to be bikini night so every girl in the arena was dressed for the occasion. Hilarious for me since he was one of those hold to the rod type boys. haha Oh the joys of dating. Sorry for the super long post but keep up the entertainment. =)
LOL! I didn't have any as bad as those, that I can remember! The worst one I ever had, the guy picked me up and then told me everyone in the group bailed so it was just gonna be me and him, but he didn't plan anything. We ended up at his house chatting with his parents. Then we went to sonic where his car broke down. He suggested we just walk the four miles back to his house, I called my sister to come get me out of there!
Ok, my little sisters thought it would be nice to set me up on a blind date. Where would two 14 year old girls meet a man that is old enough to date me??? Let me tell you, Brimhall Jr. High, yes ladies and sometimes gentlemen, he was the SECURITY GAURD at their school!!!!! I should be done there because it only got worse... We went to pizza, where he flirted with the waitress, in my mind I was waiting for the moment when he would whip out his badge of honor! haha then we left the restaurant and started driving down Main, there he asked me if I like it when guys sing and have good voices. I said "Ya, who doesn't" HE then proceeded to turn off the radio and serenade me with his love songs. We then went to the TEMPLE!!! Yes, first date (blind date) LEt's take this girl to the Temple. It wasn't Christmas time or even Easter so there was no entertainment but him. He then decided to bear his Testimony to me. Need I even continue??
So pretty much that was the first and LAST time I went on a blind date. My little sisters and I to this day still get much laughter from this story. I hope you do too!!
Wow these are hilarious. One of my worst was when this older guy, lets just say 28, asked me out. on our first (and only) date, he picked me up at 3 pm for the whole night. We then proceded to shop for a party he was throwing with all his married friends and there spouses. So we bought food and everything, went back to his 4 bedroom house in paradise valley that he lived in ALONE. I asked him what he did with all the bedrooms and he said, and here's the clincher: "Well I hope to fill them with children one day." hint, hint. I was done after that.
Thank goodness for no more singles ward.
One of my favorite blind dates, though not from a single's ward, can be summed up in three main parts/destinations:
1. YSA activity
2. Subway
3. Walking down Mill to find the guy that makes lots of pictures with spray paint, and they are all of the sunset or planets, or something that he could use his spray paint cap for.
Needless to say, sparks flew.
Okay, now the wheels are really turning in my head. Most of these memories I have tried supressing...
This one guy told me our date was a "suprise". As we pulled into the church parking lot, I thought, "Oh boy..." Sure enough, about ten of his friends were there with dates and they escorted us to the cultural hall where some of their younger sisters were on the stage waiting to teach us the "Chicken Dance", "Electric Slide", and "Macarena". We then danced the night away, it was very special.
Last fall I went out with a guy who was pushing 30. He showed up wearing collared shirt, khakis, and Hush Puppies. After dinner he drove me to the home he had just built about halfway to Globe. (Very similar to the "I hope to fill it up with children someday" story) He also drove about 45 mph on highway 60 so getting home took about...2 hours
And one of my very personal favorites: I went out with this guy and he took me to dinner at Pei Wei and I was actually kind of having a good time. Then he said we were going to go race cars at the F-1 Raceway place and I thought, "Wow, this is actually a pretty good date". When we arrived at the raceway place, he realized he left his coupon at home and was like, "Oh, well, you'll just have to try it another time, its pretty fun". I thought, ok no big deal. Then he drove over to his parents house where we sat and watched a documentary on pilgrims with his mom and dad ate popsicles. Then, the inevitable happened...he escorted me into the living room and asked if he could sing me something before he took me home. Before I knew it I was sitting there next to him on the piano bench getting an opera version of Coldplay serenaded to me. I could only turn the pages for him and pray I wouldn't laugh out loud. Then his dad entered the room with a video camera commententing on how great we looked together. I almost wet myself...
My turn, my turn. It was at BYU. In February. First, while driving in the car, he told me I needed to see my bishop about the music I listened to. Then we played miniature golf. Outside. At night. In the winter. And I was the only one who had mittens and I wouldn't share.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL (thats all I need to say)
This is the best post ever. Ok I have 3 to share.
1. Takes me goofy golfing and then to Burger King (puke) and asks me if I'm hungry. I order something and then he doesn't. Apparently he had already eaten. Sits and watches me eat.
2. Takes me scorpion hunting in his backyard and then we eat cereal on the roof of his house. Ends the night by singing me a song on his guitar.
3. Creepiest guy ever. Supposed to be a double date but the other couple cancelled. Takes me to his brother's apartment to watch a movie. When we walk in, there are some elephant "trunk" underwear and some condoms with a note from his brother that says, "here's the stuff you asked for." Kill me now.
First of all I LOVE your blog... read it everyday! Thankfully, I am not in the dating scene anymore, but I remember going on a blind date at BYU. It was the younger brother of a lady in my home ward. We went on a double date and at first site I thought he looked cute and normal, but after introductions, he proceeded to speak NOT ONE word to me the entire night. Apparently he was only capable of speaking to his friend. Luckily for me, the date was only 3 hours long...
I love this post, I'm so glad everyone can read about my embarrassing dates. I'm just glad we're not the only ones! By the way I've finally started my own blog, yes I know, it's about time. Anyway you forgot to mention that on my salsa dancing date, my date tried to teach me spanish, and kept speaking to me in spanish, as if it was the language of love! As he took me home I had to break up with him because he apparently thought we were dating after two dates! I played the "sorry I have a missionary" card. It was the worst date ever!!!
Well... you probably don't remember me from HS but I found your blog and I LAUGH my butt off as I read it, so please forgive me for blog stalking you! Anyway, my worst date, though not from a Singles ward would have to be... Jr. year MORP! I had a blast, brought a guy from another school who was SO hot and we went back to my house to make out and I noticed a car tail gating me home, it was CREEPY! We pull up to the house and the car tail gating me is this weird guy who I guess liked me and he saw me with another guy and freaked out! He had a hissy fit and made a scene outside of my house! The date was great, the creepy guy not so good :(
These are the best most unbelievable stories I've ever heard. You've made my day everyone.
These are SO funny. I love reading everyone's worst dates. I actually only have one bad date that I remember. My jr year of HS.
I didn't like the guy at all, but he'd asked me out about 10 times, and I was out of excuses, so I went. First to Wendy's (classic, yes) then to a movie, during which he kept reaching over to try to grab my hand and I'd have to quickly stretch, fold my arms, scratch my nose, fold my hands together, lean forward, etc, every time he'd try to grab my hand. After that, we went to a "haunted" shack with his friends where they (seriously) put sheets over their heads in an attempt to scare us. He continued to try to hold my hand to "comfort" me. I think he was hoping I'd get really scared. And I did- he creeped me out.
My son is about to turn 16. I think I'll try passing on these date ideas to him. These are great and will keep him safe and sound for a few more years.
I really can top these....
1. Guy shows up in a three peice suit, a trench coat and a fedora hat with a feather. He proceeds to take me to the hopsital where his sister is GIVING BIRTH!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Guy takes me to a three hour long movie and out of the corner of my eye I notice him PICKING HIS NOSE AND EATING IT!!!!! Then he tried to hold my hand....
3. Guy show up at my house and asks to use my restroom....After ten minutes of me waiting and wondering, he comes out and says "Whew! Do not go in there!"
4. Guy asks me during our date if I have plans to lose weight, becasue he doesn't want his parents to think he is "settleing"
5. Guy doesn't talk to me all night and then at the end of the date tries to tickle my tonsils with his tounge.
6. Guy interviews me on proper dating techniques and what he may be doing wrong.....
7. Guy tells me how he has future plans to build a remote cabin and live off the land....
8. Guy tells me in the middle of our date that his divorce isn't final because he can't find his ex wife to serve her papers....She apparently ran off to be an internet pron star....
I know It is amazing I kept dating long enough to get married. BUT I DID!!! There is hope all you single gals!
Okay, coming out of lurking to tell you these stories are freaking hilarious! In fact I had to send all my blog readers over here to read them.
Okay... I don't think that I can top most of these but here goes.
I just turned 19 this year, a couple of months ago I began to be pursued by one of the classic creepy guys in my stake. For the record, my age was one of the first things that I laid out about myself when I met him and I was a little less than ovejoyed to later find out that he was nearly 30! I accepted one date out of sheer pity, and because it was to a movie (really easy to pretend you're somewhere else when you're sitting in the dark) He tried to pick me up 3 hours early so that we could spend some quality get to know you time, I told him I had to cook dinner for my roommate.
Shortly after our date he moved back to the mesa valley where my parents live and called me a couple of weekends later to see if I was visiting them because he wanted to go to church with my family. End of story.
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